So, my friend and I are playing what’s a pirates favorite (blank)? and having ourselves a good old time laughing it up when we start getting the looks and the sighs from the people at the next table over. My thing is if you want a nice quiet meal, go to a nice quiet restaurant, not a loud and crazy diner where the wait staff regularly breaks into song and/or dance and every teen queen this side of the Ole Miss wants to have her birthday party - but I’m funny that way. So we’re getting the passive-agressive treatment from the miserable couple sitting next to us and it’s making us laugh even harder. And then my friend says… oh wait, I guess I’d better ’splain first. What’s a Pirates Favorite is just that.
“Hey, what’s a pirates favorite movie?”
“I dunno, what?”
“Raiders of the Lost Arrrrrgh!”
“Hey, who’s a pirates favorite singer?”
“I dunno, who?”
“Arrrrrgh Kelly!”
As you can see the possibilities are endless. And, well, once you’ve had a couple of drinks, maybe it will seem funny to you. But to us it’s always funny. ‘Specially over voice mail. What’s a pirates favorite comic book? Arrrrrrchie!
Anyway, so my friend says ” What’s a pirates favorite cocktail?” I say, “I dunno, what?” She says, “appletini.”
And we both just busted up. But so does the guy in the booth behind us. His girlfriend is pissed, says she’s ready to go and gets up and leaves. He gives us a sort of cockeyed smile and follows.
Poor fella. Whipped by a joy-sucker before he’s thirty. I can think of no worse a fate.