Isle of Remote

But now I am past tired. Omigosh! Like crazy tired. Stupid tired. It’s very weird. I feel like I’m living in one of those Kroft Shows like HR Puf’n Stuf or something.

It appears to be Friday. That means I have to write something funny, doesn’t it? It’ll have to be a quickie ‘fore my head hits the keyboard…

I saw a friend of mine walking down the street. I knew her by her coat. Long, pink trench - not something you see everyday. Knowing how she is a rather shy person, but very funny I thought she’d appreciate a unique greeting. I ran toward her, arms stretched, yelling, “Stephanie!!! Stephanie!!!!” at the top of my lungs.

Of course you know the ending. I get smack up in her face only to discover this was a complete stranger.

Today’s funny is a short one because I’m up late as it is.

Last week I came home and set my bags on the floor and proceeded toward the restroom. Mind you, I wasn’t in a hurry to get there, but there no better time like the present. Well, the heel of my boot somehow got caught on the strap of my purse and I slipped. I finally landed a foot on the ground, but unfortunately it was on the mail I’d just dropped and so I did this crazy split skid across the foyer, arms flailing, feet going in opposite directions. When I finally stopped I peed my pants.

Sorry I’ve not been ’round lately. I’ve been busy napping between bedtimes. Hopefully soon I will be back among the wide-eyed. Until then…*snore*….

Today I coined a new word: episatisfaction. A combination of the words episode and satisfaction. Definition: to enjoy DVD episodes of your favorite show back-to-back-to-back.

I just purchased season 2 of the BBC show, Coupling. It is 9 episodes in 2 cds. Last night I watched the first 3 episodes and today I watched 3 more. The episatisfaction coming in that the last two episodes on CD #1 were so funny, I’m ready to power through the final 3 on CD #2. Will my high episatisfaction let me pace myself?

Same with Sex in the City. I have all 6 seasons and am on season 6. I’m trying to have the restraint to not watch them all at once, but it’s really hard once you get going.

So, if you are bug-eyed going to work in the morning because someone gave you 2 seasons of Alias or Seinfeld or something, blame it on episatisfaction.

Was going to go to this dinner dance this weekend, but had also planned a trip to Big Bear. As usual, I double booked myself. Geez, Abbie, what’s the use of a calender if you aren’t going to use it?

Anyway, I told my friend about the dinner dance, it’s being sponsored by a local church, and it’s supposedly a big to-do. She’s kind of a flake so I probably shouldn’t have told her, but I did. I also told her if she went I would go, because she wouldn’t know anyone there. Then I got home and remembered that I was supposed to go to Big Bear! D’oh!

So I cancelled BB only to find out that 1) my friend is (as usual) ignoring all my emails and 2) the event is sold out. It was a lot of fun last year, even if there were no mens. Just when I was getting really excited to go! So rather than add MORE frustration and stress to my life (more about that some other time) I just said if God wants me to go, I’ll go and left it at that. This morning I get an email that says the place where they were going to hold the event had a water leak and so the facility moved the party to another room. A larger room. More tickets are being sold! How’s that for Divine luck?

Call me Cinderella cuz I’m going to the ball, baby!

God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn’t quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

“It’s a very handy thing,” God told them, “and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it…”

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, “Oh, please give that to me I’d love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!” On and on he went like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.

Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, “Well, I guess you’re kind of stuck with the last thing I have left.”
“What’s it called?” asked Eve.
“Brains”, said God.

Haven’t written in a while. Meant to. Just had to work through the weekend and then I installed the Sims2 and that is all I’ve been doing for the past 3 days! I am so hooked, it’s crazy. I thought I would miss my old Sims, but after a night of playing 2 I uninstalled the first game.

It’s a little more intense than I planned. I made one little couple and they had a lot of fun trying for a baby. She gets preggo and is puking in the toilet, so Griffin, the hubby didn’t get breakfast. Do you know he came home and DIED! What’s up with that? So poor Zuzu’s a single mom-to-be. I think I’m going to make it like a soap opera. I wonder if she can convince another Sim that it’s his baby….

Anyhoo, so, wound up going to bed at like 3am. This is not good. Did I mention previously that I’m anemic? Yeah, so the more sleep I get at this stage, the better. Staying up to the wee hours is NOT recommended. So today I am powered by Red Bull and sheer will.

Had a bit of a drama at work last week. One of the students informed her mother that she was planning on commiting suicide. We did a mad search and couldn’t find her anywhere. The police broke into her apartment and she wasn’t there. I was calling the mom every 15-30 minutes, letting her know that we (really, meaning me) were still looking for her daughter.

Three hours later the daughter turns herself in to psych services, talks to a counselor and goes back to work. What the?!!!! Turns out she wasn’t really going to commit suicide, she just wanted to get back at her mom.

And this isn’t some snot-nosed freshman we’re talking about, but a 25 year old, full-fledged adult. I guess she’s getting married this summer and she and her mother had some sort of disagreement about the wedding. Um, if this is how she handles a disagreement with her mother, then she is so not ready to get married!

And that’s not all. The wonderful people I work with made some calls and said, “We’ve done all we can do” and left it at that. I’m sorry? You’ve got legs, they work - can’t you get out there and help find this girl? Or do you think it will be easier when they’re scraping her off the sidewalk? Honestly, I don’t understand some people. Wouldn’t it just be basic human kindness to go out and search for someone who may be in trouble, who may harm themselves?

If your kid was in college 3,000 miles away, wouldn’t you want the reassurance that the people surrounding her were looking out for her? I just don’t get it. What kind of people am I working with?