I’ve sort of been surrounded by a lot of death these past few years. A co-worker, a good friend, a cousin, a family friend (and her brother- AND son-in law), another co-worker, my grandmother, another friend, an aunt, my grandfather…..that’s just all I can remember right now.
I think that’s been the reason for my funk of late. I’ve just been pushing through life and not reallly living it.
Yesterday I got to babysit for my friend’s little boy and I just felt like my whole day got painted in bright and shimmering colors.
It’s really weird to realize that I thought I was living life before, but, in reality life was just sort of leading me through a series of hoops that I thought I needed to jump through. In other words, I was just surviving.
And yet, I laughed, I hung out with friends, I made new friends, I continued to pray and be thankful. But my heart was really bitter because it was full of grief and anger. I can usually sense those feelings and work myself out of them, but this time it crept upon me in an unfamiliar way. In a pit of grief so deep, but, at the same time, comforting.
So now I’m taking some time to bring the technicolor back into my world (and Meadow - Antonio Banderas might just do the trick! 
) I’ll let you know how that goes.