I’ve made some decisions about where I’m headed in life. I won’t go into the details but I have decided that I’m tired of working for other people. I’m formulating a plan that will allow me to phase out that part of my life and corform it to my own terms.
It’s liberating. Right now I’m in the research phase. I hope that by this time next year I will be in phase one of the plan.
I’m also getting on track with my health. I’ve started slow and am concentrating on making better choices.
Part of the reason why my writing here has gotten so sporadic lately is I’ve just been floundering. It seemed that a lot of things changed in my life in a big way and it left me a little bewildered. My job changed, I lost my best friend to apathy and my grandmother to death, I’ve made some bad financial choices, I regained my weight. It felt like life was pushing me along and I was just sitting in the cart.
I’ve heard some people say that you shouldn’t make any major decisions after you’ve lost someone close to you. I guess that’s true. I didn’t make the wisest choices. I think that’s why, when I prayed about it last year, I really felt the strong pull to wait until March of this year to start making major changes.
So now I feel as though my head is a little clearer and I have noticed that my time is a little more free since some of the dead weight has dropped off. One of the things I’ve noticed is that some friends just don’t know how to be around you when you’re going through stuff. So those people have dropped off the radar and that has created the time to get my plans together.
A long time ago a neighbor read me this poem about those who lift and those who lean. There are givers and there are takers in life. The poem made it seem that it was far better to be the lifter rather than the leaner, but I think you have to reside somewhere in the middle. How can you lift someone if you don’t know what it is like to lean? And if you’re lifting all the time, how do you keep your humility?
So this year I’ve learned how to lean and I’ve learned who my lifters are. And oddly enough, they’re not always who I expect them to be.