Had a long talk with Dad today. It was nice but kind of weird. He seems different and I stayed on the course of our regular safe topics - weather, computers, the housing market, etc. We don’t go too deep. Usually he says he has to run and the conversation ends. About 45 minutes in I was wondering just how long we were going to talk. Finally I said I had to go (I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot and it was starting to get warm) and I think he said, “love you”. I didn’t know what to say. He may have even said it twice, but you know how the phone is halfway from your ear to disconnect and you hear the person still talking so you move the phone to catch what they’re saying, but they’re done? So I’m not sure. Normally I would say that I didn’t hear them but this time I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear him for real. I was worried I would have to respond. Selfish? Maybe. But I like to think I’m erring on the side of caution. I mean, he’s never said he loved me before. Not that I remember anyway. I believe he does, but he’s just never been demonstrative about it. My mom doesn’t say it frequently, but she does say it. What’s funny is my grandmother and I said it all the time. I even say it to my friends. I guess my family dynamic is a little conservative in ’saying it’ corner.
Wow. That was some paragraph….
I think it is nice that you thought he said “I love you” even if he actually said something else
Like a spontaneous hug when you weren’t expecting it. So wonderful that you are having fun times with your friends laughing and enjoying each other… maybe one day you and your dad will have that ease between you. I bet he carries a picture of you in his wallet.
Comment by Meadow — June 20, 2006 @ 12:45 am