Okay, I’ve been trying to log on here for a long time. Wouldn’t let me. Was considering moving to another host, but since I couldn’t even get on to move my files, that wasn’t a very appealing idea. Now, today, I just sign right in. Weird.
Anyhoo, I’m back. I’m doing well. I survived a brief bout of not taking my meds. What can I say? I thought I could stop cold turkey. Didn’t attribute the 24 hour dizziness to anything but not eating right. I mean, I was having dreams about being dizzy! How weird is that? But now things are back on an even keel.
Have been watching a lot of movies lately (Yay! Netflix!) Loved Little Miss Sunshine! You gotta love that little Olive. I want to be her when I grow up.
Looking for a new job - 2 interviews this Friday. Both have presentations. Neither of which I understand. Ugh! I’ve been doing research and trying to piece the thing together, but I may have bitten off more than I can chew.
Having money troubles. Trying not to obsess over that. Still not back to working full-time, but it’s a good thing right now. Work still exhausts me. Although I’m supposed to be trying not to sleep so much according to my doctor. I think I’m slowly turning into a cat….I’ll be up to 18 hours of sleep per night soon.
I’ve been bouncing about different churches too. Not really assured of my place. Stills rankles me how out of place single men and women are if they are over the age of thirty. So I’m feeling plenty of not-fitting-in-ness this year that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for.
Friends are taking good care of me and making sure I’m not holed up in my apartment for too long. But sometimes its hard doing things with them as well. Especially since most of my friends are coupled up. It gets tired feeling like the fifth wheel all the time. Sometimes it takes me an hour or so just to talk myself into going to a party or whatever because I dont to be the Sad Single Gal.
Of course I’m doing absolutely nothing to change that status. I mean, nearly everything I do is so girly-centric. I never meet guys. Decent guys anyway. I meet the ones whose wives don’t understand them or who haven’t had any gainful employment since the Carter administration.
One terribly negative thing about having a nervous breakdown is you start thinking about yourself waaaay too much. I mean, I talk about myself, medicate myself, write about myself, give myself “space” and pamper myself. I’m so freaking bored with myself I could just scream!
So I guess my natural conclusion is I should just go out there and Live Life. Full Speed Ahead. Don’t Look Back. Yeah, after this little nap….