Isle of Remote

Okay, I had noticed this before, but I think the practice has grown to epic proportions. Whenever commentators on the news refer to “urban” or “disadvantaged” children, they are always backed up with photo footage of Black children. Sometimes Hispanic children. Never white or Asian children.

If they’re talking about Blacks, just say Blacks. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t try to call me urban cuz I have never lived in the city. I am a suburban girl. And I am not disadvantaged in the way that they are implying. I am not poor. Except for my first year of college and a brief layoff, I have always held a job. I have a college degree. I have never been on government assistance. I do not have any illegitimate children.

Yet, the media constantly lumps all Blacks into one category and calls it “urban”, regardless of where or how we grew up. I’ve seen them use the word urban and show footage of Black farm owners. Has the definition of urban change in the last couple of years and no one told me?

And what about the others who live in urban settings - Asians, whites, Pacific Islanders, Native Americans? Why don’t we see them as urban or disadvantaged? Why do we not explore the issues facing the urban Jew or disadvantaged Laotians?

It’s 2006! Can we not present a view of the world that is more a representation of fact than euphemism?

I’m at work. No one is in the office and I have nothing to do. Our email is down for the rest of the day and I’m bored. I have some certificates I need to make, but that’s about it. I just finished the project I thought would take me the better part of the day.

I’ve been going out to dinner a lot and it’s showing on my hips. Yikes! Gotta lose those pounds! I bought a pilates video but now my DVD player isn’t working - I think it’s hooked up wrong - so I’ve just been doing some stretches.

I’m becoming obsessed with my looks. Doing battle against the ravages of time and not winning. It’s enough to make a girl cry. I don’t know why this means so much to me, trying to appear younger, but it does. I have a plastic surgery list, for Pete’s sake!

Will I turn into one of those women who walks around in mini skirts and crop tops because she thinks it makes her look younger? *shiver* I hope not! Nothing worse than a 50 year old woman showing off her belly button piercing - even if she’s cut.

And why does every teenage girl want to look like Paris Hilton? I think she’s odd looking. All her features sort of blend together in a rodent sort of way. And there’s never anything behind the eyes. Have you noticed that? And what, exactly, does she do?

Could someone tell me when did the whore get to be the idyllic role model for young girls? It seems there are a bunch of women in the public eye who are young, easy, pretty and not too bright. Where did they come from? And why have we seen most of them naked (and not in the movies!)?

What ever happened to the classy young actress? I watched a retrospective on Elizabeth Taylor last month and she had done some movies in her late teens, early twenties and she was always so reserved and put together, even at that young age. Was she really that way, or did the press have more respect then (or maybe less control?) Maybe Liz was out on the red carpet flashing her thong and we just didn’t hear about it….

Still, it makes me wonder. I saw a girl about 5 years old wearing a pair of low-rise jeans that showed her butt crack and a crop top. Who dresses their child like that? And who makes low rise jeans that low for children? Did Charlie Sheen and Roman Polanski start a clothing line together?

What are we doing to our little girls? Teaching them to be stupid and slutty? Why? So they can be famous? So they can find someone who will take care of them? So they can be burnt out and depressed before they’re 30?

I’m a full grown adult and I’m still taken in by all this about image. I want to look younger than I am. I want to do a little cosmetic maintenance to beat back time. How are these images affecting girls much younger who don’t have the filter of wisdom to make choices?

It’s something I’m thinking about a lot lately.

So I went to Trailer Trash Central last night - WalMart. I hate WalMart. Really. I renew my vow never to shop there again. I don’t know what it is about WalMart, but do parents rub dirt on the kids in the parking lot before they enter the store? I don’t care what time it is - early in the morning, middle of the afternoon, late night - but the there’s always dirty kids with stained shirts, messy hair and grape Kool-Aid moustaches running around the store like they’re crazy. And there’s some kid who is just screaming away and being ignored by the parents.

Last night there was a kid who wasn’t being watched by the mother and the little girl grabbed something off the shelf and threw it on the ground. It was a toy or something, not glass, but you could still tell it broke. So the mom picks it up and stuffs it inside a suitcase and walks away. Thanks lady - she’s probably one of those who complains about high prices all the time.

And then there was this kid who kept crying. For about twenty minutes. And I’m not without sympathy - it must be awfully hard to get your shopping done and have a small child and if they’re at the age where they want to throw a tantrum, you’re just kind of stuck until you train them to do otherwise. But it was 9:30pm and this kid was less than a year old and was either hungry, tired or wet and had that whiney, exhausted cry that, if you have common sense, recognize as beyond their control. Was mom shopping for last minute diapers? Formula? Medicine? No. She was out searching the $5 DVD bin. Then she was at the jewelry counter. Then shoe shopping. That’s just not right!

I’m starting to get really fed up with this. Last night I gave one kid a look - he was trying to pull my stuff out of the cart when we were in line. I gave him that look my mom must have given me a million times and he backed right off. Don’t tell me kids don’t know how to behave. Wouldn’t it be better if they learned from the parents and not complete strangers?

Tonight I was very privileged to sit in a room with very educated people. People who grew up in low income families who heard the world tell them they should not aim too high in life, but should merely try to keep their heads above water and try not to get arrested.

I used to think that these were stories of the past that we would share with future generations as we celebrated the fact that all those stereotypes were behind us now. But it is not so.

We are not near where we should be at this day and age. There are people who think that minorities are taking the spaces in colleges and jobs that should be held by whites. That we are being handed these opportunities because of laws and ordinances. This is a belief based in bigotry of the worst kind. It is bigotry because it makes the base assumption that no one of color in education or an occupation is qualified to be there. It is also bigoted because it makes the assumption that the white students are qualified to be there.

The fact of the matter is programs like Affirmative Action came to be because not just qualified, but over-qualified people of color were being turned down for jobs, looked over for promotions and denied entry into schools because those in positions of power chose to believe a stereotype, rather than the truth.

Tonight I listened to men and women who are independent and educated talk about the things they had been told by ignorant people. As high school students, these people had excellent grades, amazing test scores, strong communication and social skills, yet because of the color of their skin or the sound of their last name, these students were ignored by administrators in their educational pursuits.

How many people have we passed over who could have contributed something valuable to society? Did we encourage the woman who wanted to be a doctor to be an english teacher instead? Did we ignore the Hispanic child with a knack for politics, or push the Asian kid with a head full of poetry toward the mathematics department? What do we miss out on when we ignore the individual and based our world on narrowmindedness?

I have the belief that whenever we do something evil to someone else, we destroy that person’s destiny to do good in our lives. On the grand scale, when a person kills another, perhaps they kill the one who will pull the killer’s child from in front of a speeding car. On a day-to-day basis, I think if we inflict a wound on another person’s spirit, we damage our own spirits in response. We can only live in as much joy as we’re willing to give. That which we hold close to our chests denies us the pleasure of sharing.

Always choose to lift someone up, rather than bring them down. It is not our job to impose limits on how high others can soar, but to make sure they are prepared for the journey in the best possible way.

Saturday 08.07.04 [1:00 am]

So I’ve just returned from seeing Thoroughly Modern Millie - which I did enjoy, but somehow when you see a musical you want to come home with at least one of the songs on your mind. I can’t seem to remember any of them. But still it was good.

That is the last of my season tickets. I think I may do it again sometime. next season looks kinda blah - most of the shows I’ve either seen (The Producers, Rent, King and I, Oklahoma, Little Shop of Horrors) or don’t want to see (Off the Record, Stomp) so I guess I’ll just sign up for Lion King.

I rather liked buying the season for just myself. I thought it would be weird going alone, but actually, it’s almost preferable. It’s definitely cheaper - no dinner beforehand or coffee afterward. I don’t have to wait on anyone. I arrive just prior to curtain and leave promptly after curtain call. And it’s always hard to find someone to go with because most people don’t love the theater the same way I do. And you get the same seats for the whole season amongst the other season ticket holders, so after a couple of shows you feel like you’re there with friends.

As I was walking to the theater a bum told me I had “nice titties.” That’s a special moment I’ll hold in my heart forever….

Oh yeah - my interview! I totally rocked it! It was about the best interview I’d ever given. I was on it. Of course that means nothing. The worst interview I’ve ever given landed me the job I have now. In and of itself, that should have told me something.