Isle of Remote

So I made the call. Yep, called a mortgage banker because I thought I found the place I wanted to buy. She took my information and came up with these suggestions:

Make more money
Get the 2BR and find a roommate

Then yesterday on NPR I heard a story about land trust homes. You buy the house but the land in owned by a non-profit and is leased to you. This really appeals to me. The home costs less, therefore your taxes are less. The non-profit leases the land to you, but retains the ownership. There are guidelines to what you can do with the property, and your house appreciates less, but the bottom line is your mortgage is less.

Of course in my initial search, I could find no such homes here in my neck of the woods. But I’ll keep on trying.

My mom is constantly on me about buying a house. True, I should have bought when she first started in on me. It would have been tough but I would now be in a position to make that mortgage payment. Unlike now. How are people affording $3K - $5K mortgage payments?!

I met a woman who worked in real estate banking last year and she anticipated a change in the market. Said that people were stretched to the hilt and any change in income - a divorce, an illness, loss of a job - would make it extremely difficult to keep the property. That is starting to happen. Although people are still buying homes so I imagine the financially strapped are able to sell before it gets too bad. However, as the market slows, that may no longer be the case.

Let’s say you’re a married couple with a $4K mortgage and a 3BR house (welcome to California!) Each of you brings home $4500 a month after taxes. Nearly half of your combined income goes to the house. More than half if you count utilities and stuff. Couple gets divorced. How is $4500 going to cover the mortgage? Get a roommate. How much can you charge for a room? Maybe $800? $900 if you turn over the master bedroom, but not much higher than that because you can still find an apartment for that rate. You’re still responsible for $3100. And again, that’s just the mortgage, not utilities, repairs, maintenance and all that jazz.

In my case, if I put down $20K I can have a mortgage payment of $1370. Which I can do, but that’s nearly 70% of my income going toward mortgage! I’ll have just enough left for a car payment, insurance and the 12-pack of ramen noodles from Costco.

It’s all so depressing. So now I’m looking at other states and hoping to be inspired to move somewhere. How do you like your hometown?

In college I had a professor with a wonderfully sexy South American accent. Listening to him talk about art was sometimes like listening to a romantic fairy tale. But we were supposed to be learning stuff and taking notes. We were going to be tested on said stuff.

So he’s talking one day about how expressions convey emotions in art and he says, “severe eyebrows with sharp points say dibble” to some people.

You know how you’re sitting in class and you get some information you just plain don’t understand? So you look around to see if anyone else is as confused as you. Nope. Looks like everyone else knows what he’s talking about. Dibble? What’s dibble? You hope it isn’t on the exam and you keep taking notes. Two weeks later he says “dibble” again in a different context and you realize he means “devil.”

Yesterday I was sitting on the common patio of my complex reading a book and enjoying the sunshine when a cute little doggy bounded up to me. He was on a leash so he couldn’t get too close. As he got closer to me I noticed he had these funky eyes - really huge like a cats and startlingly blue. Like a flourescent blue. Scary. His papers may say Lhasa Apso but his eyes were screaming CUJO!

His owner comes closer and little Cujo gets a courtesy pat on the head while I concentrate on looking at his paws, his tail, his collar…anything but those eyes. Seconds later they disappear into the house.

I come back to my place and not five minutes later I smack my hand against my arm and smush a flea! Cujo indeed! A Cujo of the worst sort - he sends fleas to do his evil bidding - sucking the very soul from his victims one flea bite at a time! So beware of dibble-eyed dogs - they’re out to get us all!

Really, one of the responsibilities of having a blog is posting when you have something you want to say. Me? I got nothing.

Still, I signed on with the hope that inspiration would hit me once I saw the blank screen. Once again? Nothing. Nada.

It’s probably because I should be sleeping now. Have an early and busy day ahead of me. Maybe when it’s over I will have witty bon mots to share with you.

I’ve not felt much like writing lately. Don’t know why. Just feeling sort of blue. But I will be back and I will snap myself out it soon - a person can only wallow just so long!

Although I love my new job, it does take a lot out of spiritually and emotionally. I’ve got to recharge!

Got a catalog in the mail the other day. Addressed to me, not someone else. It was for pornos and the millennial version of the blow-up doll. Lots of extenders and other male apparatus. How did I get on this list?!! I mean, seriously, I didn’t need to know that you can get your favorite female porn star’s booty cast in lifelike poly resin to…um….use as you see fit. And just how lonely and horny do you have to be to BUY a butt-shaped pillow to poke your willy through? At first I was disgusted, now I’m just saddened by the whole thing.

Well, it seems as though another weekend has flown by and left me wondering what happened with all that time. And why I didn’t get to updating this sight AT ALL. Oh well. Best intentions, you know.

I spent the weekend with friends. And really that’s much better than sitting at the computer any old day. Got a manicure and had lunch on Thursday. Friday we went shopping in Orange County - my friend needed a special outfit for her interview today. We had a good time.

Saturday I spent with another friend shopping for a birthday gift. Had fun at Old Navy. I never shop there, but they had some really cute clothes. Of course the dressing room was good for a laugh - the waistbands were about four inches too big! Even if it was supposed be hip-riding, they were still huge. Talk about party in your pants! I did buy a skirt because it was about 9 bucks and all I have to do is add some darts.

The rest of Saturday and all of Sunday I packed stuff up for the garage sale. It’s getting down to the wire and I haven’t got things as well organized as it was when I started. I hope that I have a good turnout.

I’m on my lunch now and I have to write a report linking two totally dissimilar research areas. I’ve been racking my brain all morning to find a connection. I have to have it completed this afternoon. Maybe magic writing fairies will appear from the sky and write it for me. What do you think the chances are?

Things are busy at the ole new job. I have three events coming in the next week. Just found out I will be responsible for planning an absolutely HUGE event next year. Yikes. Add to my life one garage sale, one apartment search, one craft show and we’re talking some upcoming crazy. Who was that girl who was going to take it easy? Was that me? No, must been someone else.

I was just invited to be in the craft show a late this morning. It’s on the 6th. Yeah, 8 days away. I think I’m going to do it because the table fee is super cheap and I can make it back in one sale. I probably have something that I can sell. The earrings I made last Christmas did really well. I’ll take a look at the ole craft closet tonight and see what’s shaking.

The thought of moving makes me a little insane. I have so much crap! You should see how I get rid of bags and bags of stuff, but there’s still loads of it left! I hope I sell a lot at the garage sale I’m having at a friend’s house at the end of May. I’ve been saving to buy an iPod. I’m trying to be a cash and carry kind of girl.

Thinking about taking the real estate plunge. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but people keep telling me it can be done. The new job/paycheck definitely sheds a brighter light over the whole situation. But it gives me heartburn when I see the mortgage payment projections. We’re talking $1600/month for a small 2 BR condo. This is with $15K down. Yikes, I’m feeling light-headed already.

It’s been a while since Anne over at Librarianguish asked me these questions. Sorry about that Anne.

Here goes…

1. I see that you’ve lived in both New York and California. What do you like about each place, and what do you not like about each place?

I love the laidback attitude of California. The weather is great here and the people are friendly and it’s just plain beautiful. I love that I can be on the beach, in the snow and in the desert all in the same day. I love really good Mexican food and margaritas. On the east coast it doesn’t taste real.

I love New York because it’s always busy. There’s always something to do. The city has a pulse. I love the people and how your personal space is respected and how there are just certain rules of etiquette that you wouldn’t dream of breaking. And I like that people there aren’t afraid to dress up like they are here in southern California. I love that the public transportation is good and you don’t need to have a car. I like how a big city with millions of people seems like a series of small towns.

What I hate about New York is the cost. It’s sooo expensive! Even in my small hometown a studio apartment can cost $1600/mo. That’s just crazy! I hate how winter can look so grey.

What I hate about California is the way people will stay within their own comfort zones when it comes to getting to know someone. On the east coast people are closer in proximity to a variety of different cultures whereas here on the west you tend to see less diversity within a group.

2. What is your dream job/career/life calling?

I’m a writer. It’s what I was called to do - be a storyteller. It’s what I always wanted to do. Of course I’m too chicken to go at it full steam. We’re working on that.

I’ve also thought it would be fun to do guy makeovers like on Queer Eye. A lot of guys really need some help on knowing what looks good on them. I used to work in retail and that was the funnest part of the job. Women are too emotional about what they wear and aren’t that open to taking good advice.

3. What is the most dangerous/stupid thing you’ve ever done? (can’t help it, this is a good one)

I don’t know if this is good or what? I haven’t done too many stupid things. I suppose the worst is drinking and driving.

4. Tell us about the worst boss you ever worked for.

Jeez, there have been so many….! Um, one who would send me home for not wearing earrings (back when I worked in retail) because she said it wasn’t a professional look. Or if I wasn’t “up to date” enough style wise. My friends who were still working would either take off their earrings or wear something similar the following day and never get sent home. Carla? You sucked!

Um. then I had a boss who never quite understood her job after the switch to computers. She constantly lost things and would forget to check who she was sending a nasty-gram to via email. We’d always have to spend hours explaining and re-explaining stuff to her because she just didn’t get it. Then, my biggest supervisor pet peeve ever, she wanted us to train our new boss and wrote us up as having attitude problems when we refused. Nancy? You sucked!

Finally there’s the last one who was just sort of clueless. She made all these glib comments like “if you don’t like it, go get another job” and when half her staff did just that in less than 6 months time, she hired her friends and made up stories as to why everyone left. Joanna? You sucked!

5. Who was your favorite school teacher as a child? Why?

That’s an easy one. Mr. Adams. He was great. He treated all of us like sponges, ready to soak up any and every bit of juicy knowledge. Nothing was too complicated if we were interested in learning. I had him for 4th and 5th grades. We cooked, we read, we wrote, we drew pictures, we played math games. A lot of what I learned those two years was just review when I got to junior high. He had us doing calculus! he also encouraged me to write. And he just believed in me. That was probably the most important thing.

Who gets the questionnaire next? Here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones below.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

But now I am past tired. Omigosh! Like crazy tired. Stupid tired. It’s very weird. I feel like I’m living in one of those Kroft Shows like HR Puf’n Stuf or something.

It appears to be Friday. That means I have to write something funny, doesn’t it? It’ll have to be a quickie ‘fore my head hits the keyboard…

I saw a friend of mine walking down the street. I knew her by her coat. Long, pink trench - not something you see everyday. Knowing how she is a rather shy person, but very funny I thought she’d appreciate a unique greeting. I ran toward her, arms stretched, yelling, “Stephanie!!! Stephanie!!!!” at the top of my lungs.

Of course you know the ending. I get smack up in her face only to discover this was a complete stranger.